But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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