hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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