There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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