We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
