I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
