the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
In America we eat man semen.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Randomize
