Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize