I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
