I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
