So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
