i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Barsexuality is the new black.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
