i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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