When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
