I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
