I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
