i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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