Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
