At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
