I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
They are going to name an STD after you.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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