please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
