piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
