Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
