oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
