By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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