Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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