FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
