Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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