I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
