At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
