Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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