We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
