The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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