Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I'm at about main and main street
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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