I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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