i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Randomize
