She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
We got so high we made milksteak
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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