I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
