She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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