i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
