I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
