can u get pink eye on your cock?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
