You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
