Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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