The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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