he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Send help, water and tortillas.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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