Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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