worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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