I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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