I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
