mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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