What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
