we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
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