i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
