girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
