Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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