your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Randomize