Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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