i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
