Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
