You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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