We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
