Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
