Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
